God is with us...

God never turns his back on anyone.


Today's reading: Luke 5:27-39

Jesus is with us for we are sinners. He never gave up on us. Even if we've done the worst thing, still he's with us. He'll be leading us back to the path going to His kingdom.

Indeed, I am a sinner, I did things that I never even imagine to have done. People might have think of me as immoral. I was so lost, don't know what to do. I am thinking of a lot of things, I have failed a lot of people. I'm a mess... I really thought that God had turned His back on me for I had a wrong choice, a wrong decision He might have given up on me. He might have been tired of me.
I was so depressed and it feels like I'm on a battle against the world...

And I remembered God... Papa Jesus... As I prayed and ask for help, I felt like He bended His knees and lift me up. Asked me to stand up straight and tall for He had redeemed me and He'll be right with me 'til I finally managed to open my wings, wide enough to soar.

My friend just send me via instant messaging this:
If you ever feel that the world has turned its back on you and the people to whom you placed your hope to has not loved you enough - that no one has loved you - just think of the love that caused him to overcome the grave and the cross to find your soul... that's real love. =)

Thank you Lord God...
Thank you Papa Jesus...
I love You because You love me so...

I am used to calling HIM "Papa". There is this feeling of ease whenever I call HIM that name.
But who is HE indeed?
There was a time when I felt ashamed with HIM as I call HIM, "Papa". I don't feel worthy enough to call him with that name, for I am a daughter of Adam, and I am a sinner. I am aware of wrong and right things, yet I sometimes chose to do wrong. I had always admitted my mistakes as I realize them. I repent, but how many times should I have to repent for the same mistake?

How close am I?

"How close are you to God?" I believe, the host's introductory question in SFC's Chapter assembly is a kind of question that I've been hearing most of the time.
And back of my mind, I used to answer, SO CLOSE!
so close that I used to call Him "Papa";
so close that I treat Him like a friend;
so close that I used to talk with Him whenever I want to, wherever I am (if I wanted to share something, either good or not so good things);
so close that I use to "push eyes" whenever I pass by His church and say "hello Papa" (just like greeting somebody when you passed by one's house and saw him there);
so close that I use to give Him a hand sign of peace, "push eyes", a bow, and a "Bye bye, sa sunod ulit" whenever I go out of His house;
so close that whenever I feel cold, I just close my eyes and ask Him, "pahug naman Papa";
so close that I tell Him right away what I really feel inside;
so close that I tell Him my secrets;
so close that I tell it to Him directly whenever I questioned Him;
so close that I address my question directly to Him;
so close that I did say this words, "nakakainis Ka naman Papa, bakit ganito...bakit ganun?" or like "di Kita maintindihan, di Kita marinig, paexplain naman ng gusto Mo mangyari";

but, as I gave all this answers, I asked myself again, "am I really close to Him?". My answers above are same things that I would probably do for a close friend of mine. But is this how close He wanted me to be, with Him? Yes, He is a friend, but He is not just a friend. He is much more than that. He is my Master, and above all He is my God. Is that what He's supposed to expect from me?

That was something I have to think again. I have to check myself, "Am I really that close to Him?"...

I wish to know...

How will I know if I am following His will?
How will I know if I’m on His track?
How will I know if I please Him?

I do love God! I believe in Him. I believe in His son, Jesus Christ.
I believe in His love, His everlasting love.

I am not a perfect person. I am not as good as Jesus had been when He once lived as a man. I might not even be worthy to touch Him. He was the greatest man to have lived on earth.

However, I had in my life dreamed of following His plans, His orders. I am not certain if at most times I did. At times I knew I was doing things that do not please Him, yet I kept in doing those. I tried to avoid such things, but at times I just can’t.

I’ve joined in a Christian organization in our place. I wanted to know more of Him. I wanted to find out how to please Him, how to be with Him. But I just don’t know how or where to start.
I read the Bible, but I can’t do it every night even if I did promise it. Mostly I broke that promise. I can do it for a straight month but on the second month, I’m almost forgetting it.
I talk to Him every night and He’s the one I first spoke with when I get up in the morning. But I was never consistent in doing such. I do forget it as well.
I wanted to help other people as it was what He commanded every living man to his fellowmen. I am searching for my own way of helping my fellowmen. But it seems like, money is always needed. I do not want to believe, but that was what I observed.
I wanted to help, but I do not have enough money to do so. I am a family girl. Me and my sister worked for the family, that was what I meant being a family girlJ. I do have siblings who are studying still and in need of our financial support. Also, we do have a family to support financially for the daily expenses and needs. As well, my parents, particularly my father dreams big, greater things. Things he was expecting from us. I as well wanted to give those. How then will I be able to share some for others?

Now, how then will I be able to please Him? Where will I start? How will I do so?